There are many people in the world who write books for children, which is a great thing. Many of us were avid readers as children ourselves, and remember how important books were as we grew up. At the risk of using clichés, books can open doors, offer escape, teach about other cultures and experiences, and just plain entertain. I moved a lot, alternating years between Somerville (next to Boston) and Berkeley (near San Francisco). Books were my constant companions.

But I digress. For all of you out there working on your own children's book, you might wonder how manuscript critiquing works and what you'll get out of the process. I can only speak for myself, though I would imagine there will be similarities in working with most editors. But I thought I'd give a bit more detail about the process. In this post, I'll focus on critiquing picture books.

When I get a picture book manuscript from someone I'll read the whole thing through once quickly to experience it in a fresh way. From that first reading, I'll already have a good sense of issues I will want to address, and will start to write notes. Then I will go back and read through carefully, slowly, adding comments on the manuscript and suggesting editorial changes (including suggestions for grammar and punctuation - though I am not a proofreader). As a result of this closer reading, I will add to my overview comments to give a general summary of what is working well, and where I think the manuscript needs work.

Here are some recent examples of general comments from recent emails I sent to people who submit picture books. I am removing any identifying features about the particular books, and the quotes refer to different manuscripts:

"It's nice to come back to this story again. You have a way with language here - a sense of rhythm and the ability to put unexpected words together to create a fresh association and feeling. I think that's the strongest aspect of this story. You evoke a place, a sense of black culture and expression, and an association with music which comes through in the lyrical words you use. This is a big accomplishment and really useful for writing a picture book script. Picture books should read aloud beautifully, bouncing off the tongue, and a lot of this story would do just that."

"There are a few key things I would consider based on this current draft. The first is the order in which events take place and in which information is given. In the attached document, I have suggested a way to shift this around, starting with a focus on [main character]. I think this focus on one person helps to humanize the story and bring your reader into it. I would then save the introduction of the [plot element], and how people react to them, for after meeting [main character] and understanding something about the historical/societal context in which the story takes place."

"You've got a powerful story here, told in a traditional-feeling storyteller's voice. I like the use of repetition, which mirrors the beating and tapping on the drum. And the message grows slowly - first honoring the beauty of the [place], then acknowledging the tragedy of how humans have destroyed this beauty, and finally offering a powerful message of hope. I can imagine lush illustrations to go with the words."

In addition to these sorts of overview comments, I will pull out particular areas for special attention. Here are some examples of the type of feedback I give:

Age and voice of your narrator/protagonist: Consider how old you want this character to be, and the sorts of clues you give to your reader about her age. You will see from my comments that some elements make her seem older, and others younger. When we find out that she's five, this doesn't fit the way she has behaved in several parts of the story. Her voice, as a narrator, also feels much older than five years old. You might consider rewriting this story in the third person, so not from her point of view. That might help you describe her as young without having to use young language. First person narratives often invite a more reflective story-telling voice, which I don't think generally goes with picture books. And it might be interesting for you, as an exercise, to try to rewrite this in a more distant, third-person narrative voice."

"Sophisticated language. I'm having a dual reaction to this. On the one hand, I appreciate the gravitas and sense of tradition to your storytelling voice, which incorporates some sophisticated words and language (such as abundant harvest, nourish the land). But at times it seems like it could be distancing to me, almost buffering the immediacy of the story with more distant language. So I'd suggest you consider the way you use language throughout, and be sure that it achieves what you want it to. When do you need a sense of immediacy, and when do you want your reader to be aware that this story is set in some past, folkloric place? And how do you want this balance to work?"

"The resolution: The problem with the mother saying "There are your [plot point]" is that, as far as the reader has experienced, she didn't know that he had lost them. You'd need [main character] to run in and say something about losing his [plot point], and then his mother could reassure him that they are still there. Or else [main character] could notice and solve the problem. These two solutions have different implications. One is that [main character's] mother is there to comfort him and advise him about how the world works. The other is that [main character] has solved the problem himself, so empowering young readers that they can find their own solutions. I would consider the message you want your book to carry and think about how to make this a bit clearer."

My aim is that through a combination of very specific feedback on the manuscript itself, along with these more general comments, the writer comes away with a strong sense that I have understood what she was trying to do in the work, along with particular strategies for how to address issues that I raise. I aim to emphasise aspects that are working well, while also pointing out problematic areas.

I hope this gives a snapshot of how the critiquing process works. I am happy to answer questions if you post them in the comments. And to get more of a sense of what people who have had a critique gained from the process, you can read testimonials here.